Thursday, January 6, 2011

Send Dick

Photo Credit: Gerry

Here's a letter from one of our Americano readers...

Dear Molina's Ranch Restaurant,

I'm a gringo. I know, it's not my fault. My parents were born in America and never learned Spanish. I'm sure they would have prepared me better had they known I'd marry a chick from Miami and move to Hialeah. Believe me, no one could have prepared them or me for that.

I tried to learn Spanish when I was in 7th grade but I couldn't roll my Rs to save my life and I only walked away learning how to count to ten and say a little something about my pencil.

Because I lived in an area with no Hispanics during a time when speaking Spanish wasn't a requirement, I didn't get the memo with the list of curse words. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I asked my wife this evening what MANDAH PINGAH meant.

I'm not sure why you'd want to send dick or where you'd be sending it but when I ask for the food I ordered from that little lady at the pick-up area who's supposed to give it to me, I'm pretty sure that's not the standard response you want her giving to your valued customers.

I hope you'll have mercy on us poor gringos and teach that little lady some customer service skills so my wife and I can continue to order from you in the future.

By the way, my wife said I should have just replied with PUTAH to shut her up but I don't know what that means either.

A Gringo in Hialeah

Damn Molina's, what's up with that? Hook them gringos up, yo!

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Anonymous said...

CUA CUA CUA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I share your pain Mr. Gringo.. I myself am among the limited few in Hialeah, but I would not change it for the world..

Diego said...

Holy crap! There are 2 gringos in Hialeah?

George said...

Gringo reporting in. Believe it or not this city has a history of being a redneck, Anglo town before the Cubans started immigrating here in the early '60s.

Hialeah Redneck said...

There are still a few of us around!

Cari said...

I LOVE this letter. My mom's a gringa so I grew up translating for her and have seen this sort of thing happen in other establishments. I've never seen that sort of treatment at Molina's though ... in fact, they're usually very professional. I'm glad you spoke up because that's uncalled for!